Without NVU, I Wouldn’t Have My Future

“What’s she going to say?”

“What will she do next?”

“Does she realize what she’s even doing?”

As an NVU-Lyndon psychology major, I face different challenges as a non-traditional student, domestic abuse survivor, medically impaired orphan. Needless to say, like countless others, I live with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While I have made numerous strides in understanding and overcoming some of the trauma, such as being able to make the distinction of what it means to suffer from PTSD versus living with it, there’s one thing I still can’t shake. I still worry about whether or not I’m making the positive impacts I always aim for, and therefore, I am always replaying my mistakes and hardships in my mind.

It’s been brought to my attention, however, that perhaps, maybe, I’m too hard on myself and give a little too much. Sure, my bosses have long since been telling me to ease up on myself, but I always defended my behavior by saying, “I’ve always had to be my own support beam, someone has to be hard on myself if no one else is.” But now, with an abundance of time on my hands due to the perils of the current state of affairs with our world, I’ve had time to do one thing I haven’t been able to do in a year: reflect.

We can all reckon that’s pretty upfront and emotional to start an editorial piece, but for those that know me, that’s just who I am. Beyond the heart-on-the-sleeve type, I see my existence in this time and place as one that should be honest, act out of goodness, and to not just say it like you mean it but to also actually say it. Some of us know all too well that, sometimes, you don’t get the chance to say what you wanted before it’s too late.

So what do I have to rant about for the last time of the 2019-2020 academic year?

I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU.

My path as an educator began about five years prior to joining our formerly known Lyndon State College, where I left my full-time teaching job to become a full-time college student, so it was easy for me to find a groove and set my own track. What I didn’t envision was losing everything I had going for me outside of school two years in. While becoming a college student may have dug a stake into the relationship I was in at the time, it was being a college student that saved me from uncertainty.

My professors, my bosses, and especially my new found friends, helped me through one of the most difficult periods of my life. For the next year they all would see me at my best, my worst, reach highs, and certainly see me stay too long in the lows. This was due in part because of living with Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome–the stress and trauma affect my neurology different and the results were obvious. But there was a turning point, and that was joining Lyndon Ultimate Club in the late fall. Being welcomed and accepted into that Ultimate family rekindled the spark in me to get myself back in order. The physical activity also helped release the endorphins again, so it felt like I was regaining my happiness again. (I still haven’t told my doctor I joined a non-varsity sport, shhh.) Motivation returned; I was able to focus and organize. I was getting back on track.

From there, I was inspired to join our campus newspaper, The Critic. This was my chance to get back into my love for writing, something I used to do in past employment, but also, display my own personal love for education. I truly, really adore the world of academia. Even as a child, I loved school. My teachers were always there for me unlike my family, and I made them proud simply by doing good with school work. Now, I feel with everything I have experienced and learned from, my ability to churn that and cast deserving light on educators and students is one I don’t take for granted. And it should be mentioned, the friends I have made from each club will be ones I carry with me for a lifetime.

There was another important aspect of my year-long healing–my jobs on campus. As a student assistant to Health & Counseling, Conference & Event Services, Institutional Advancement, and groundskeeper in Maintenance, I’ve built genuine, life-long connections with individuals I dearly would do anything for. These people saw to it that when I faltered, I was shown forgiveness; when I couldn’t quite get my mentality back on track, had shown me patience; and when I felt like giving up, reminded me I was loved. Truly, Johanna, Charlotte, Darlene, Nermin, Sara, and Erin were the support beams that kept me uplifted.

In closing, and getting to the point, our northern Vermont campus and its inhabitants saved me. When it seemed my world closed in on itself, NVU was there not just with open doors, but with an abundance of people on the other side with open arms. When my cognitive understanding skills waxed and waned, the Academic Support Center staff truly cared to help me keep up with my classes. Administrative staff was always there to listen and never batted an eye when I asked for help. Scholarships are continuing regardless of my GPA lowering. My advisor is continuously accommodating my degree track and supporting my personal ambitions. In sum, when one door closed on me, so many more opened up thanks to our haven of higher learning.

I look forward to finishing my final year at NVU-Lyndon. I’m truly humbled to see those a decade my senior rally and speak up for our rural Vermont education. The fact that many graduates have chosen to stay in our nestled kingdom in the green mountains has proven how coveted our university is. I’ll be forever grateful that I chose to Do North.

Feature Photo provided by Sabra Anne Snyder  ||  Sabra Anne Snyder posing on President’s Hill at the NVU-Lyndon campus.